A Mother's Day Poem

Your Mother Is Always With You
~Author Unknown

She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street.

She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks.

She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well.

Your mother lives inside your laughter.

She's crystallized in every tear drop.

She's the place you came from, your first home.

She's the map you follow with every step that you take.

She's your first love and your first heart break.

Nothing on earth can separate you. Not time, not space, not even death...

will ever separate you from your mother...

You carry her inside you heart!

Mother's Day 2011

On this Mother's Day,I am fondly remembering my deceased maternal grandmother as well as my mother. These two women were as different as night and day. Yet they had two things in common, a wonderful nurturing spirit and a true love of family.

My mother and grandmother were role models for me when I started my own family.
I know I'm fortunate to have been raised by two great women! And I am most proud that my sons have carried forth this strong feeling of family love.

Today, I honor all the wonderful mothers who love and sacrifice for their families every day.

Four Year Anniversary of being an orphan

On February 22 it will be four years since my father's death and the first time I felt like an orphan. It's so odd because at times it seems like it was just yesterday that I attended his funeral (so vivid still in my mind) and at other times it seems so long ago.

I think about him every day and he remains a strong influence on how I live my life. He taught me so many things. I have my fond memories to keep his memory alive.

Unfortunately, most of us don't realize how much our parents give us until after they are gone. For those of you baby boomers who are lucky enough to have their parents alive, be grateful and treasure your time with them. I understand it is at times difficult to deal with parents who are experiencing dementia, ill health and/or depression. Look for support from friends, relatives or organizations to help you manage this challenging time in your life. I have recommended internet sites at the bottom of this blog.

Favorite Quotes that deal with the loss of a loved one

When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a
treasure. ~Author Unknown

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. ~From a headstone in Ireland


In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing. ~Robert Ingersoll


When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ~Kahlil Gibran

To live in hearts we leave behind
Is not to die.
~Thomas Campbell


We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. ~Kenji Miyazawa

A Day to Remember Your Father

For those of us whose father has died, it is even more important to celebrate Father's Day. It is a day to remember all those special moments that we spent with our father-- all the funny episodes, all the emotional moments, all the times we got angry or frustrated and all the tender moments.

For those of us who were caretakers for our fathers, today we reflect on all those impossible times when we became the adult and our father became the child.

For those of you who are lucky enough to still have your father in your lives, this should be a day of thanks. I wish all of your fathers a happy day!

It is important to honor our fathers who are deceased at least one day a year. I choose to honor my father's memory by donating to the Alzheimer's Foundation on this Father's Day.

Choosing to save your "well" parent

I went to lunch with a friend of mine who was telling me about her struggles in handling a mother with Alzheimer’s and a father who was falling ill because of caregiving her mother. This is so often the case, when the elderly “well” spouse gets sick taking care of the “sick” spouse.
I am one of the daughters who have experienced this scenario so my friend was asking my opinion on how to handle the situation. It is not easy knowing that at this time in their lives, you are now making serious, long lasting decisions for your parents.

I suggested the following to my friend:
• Don’t second guess yourself – you are making the best decision you can with the information you have on hand at that particular moment.
• It is in the best interest of your "well" parent to find an alternative caregiving situation for your "sick" parent.
• Don’t make any rash decisions about your own living arrangements – so often we want to move very close to our parents. But in the end, this may be the worst thing to do. We need space and time to make rational, logical decisions and if we are in the midst of chaos all the time, it is hard to do.
• Sometimes we have to tell a fib in order to save the life of the “well” parent. The Alzheimer’s or dementia patient forgets what you tell them from one moment to the next. So if you have to tell them that their spouse was in an accident or in the hospital in order to place the “sick” parent in a safe, caring environment, then you must.
• Use caregiving websites as resources.
• Speak to others who are or have been in your situation.

I was glad to share my experiences and advice with my friend and she told me our talk helped her. It is gratifying to me when I can help others because I realize that what I went through had a purpose.

A gift for the Holidays

Holidays are for family gatherings, for enjoying the joy of the season and for remembering the good times. But when you no longer have your loved ones, holidays can be very difficult, lonely times.

I wrote a poem as a gift to my granddaughter, who has my dearly departed mother's name as her middle name. Today, it has been published on the following website:
http://opentohope.com/grief-and-the-holidays/writing-poem-helps-woman-honor-mother-and-granddaughter/.

Give yourself a gift by remembering a loved one by speaking about them or writing about them. Every time I read the poem I wrote it helps me remember how special my mother was.