A gift for the Holidays

Holidays are for family gatherings, for enjoying the joy of the season and for remembering the good times. But when you no longer have your loved ones, holidays can be very difficult, lonely times.

I wrote a poem as a gift to my granddaughter, who has my dearly departed mother's name as her middle name. Today, it has been published on the following website:
http://opentohope.com/grief-and-the-holidays/writing-poem-helps-woman-honor-mother-and-granddaughter/.

Give yourself a gift by remembering a loved one by speaking about them or writing about them. Every time I read the poem I wrote it helps me remember how special my mother was.

Ways to honor your parent's legacy

I want to continue my family’s legacy, to honor my parents and the lives they lead. In order to do this, it is important to keep their memory alive.

Here are a few suggestions to honor your parent's legacy:

o Maintain an intergenerational link. Your children should hear stories about their grandparents and great-grandparents. They should experience the food of their ancestors. You should share pictures from the past. You should discuss how their ancestors arrived in this country
o Record an oral history of your family and provide it to your children
o Think about a saying or advice your parents once gave you and share it with your children or your family
o Carry a memento of your parent(s). This will keep your loved one close to your heart

I feel it is my responsibility, being the eldest in my family, to make sure the generational link is never severed.

Ways to release the pain of losing a loved one

When I tell people I am writing and speaking about the death of my parents, they say “how brave of you” or “you have such courage to dig down into those feelings of grief”. I don’t see myself as being brave or courageous. I had to do something to honor their memory, fill the hole in my heart, and help others who feel or have felt the same kind of grief.

I did not know that writing and/or speaking about my feelings would be such a wonderful outlet for the great depth of pain I was feeling. I grieved and still grieve over the loss of my parents. Writing about my parents when they were ill and dying and about my grief after their deaths has been therapeutic. Every time I have a memory, I write about it and immediately I experience a release from my pain. When I speak about my parents it keeps their memory alive.

I encourage anyone who has experienced the death of a loved one to journal your feelings, speak about your feelings to family or friends, and remember your loved one in some special way.